(Warning - 18 and older content!)
So recently I posted a picture on my facebook page because I went shopping and some of the looks I was given while in line, even by the checker, were funny to me. I thought I’d share the pic of my purchase to give others a laugh. I had NO idea what kind of response I’d get from it via emails. This is the picture I posted...
What is that? It’s Warming Jelly. It’s like KY Jelly except less greasy, it’s warm to the touch so you’re not dealing will cold stuff that you have to warm in your hands, and yes...I buy it - for real. LOL! I bought 4 of them because I got it at a good price and it’s not easy to find because I think it has to be a popular product. The last few times I’ve gone...they didn’t have any. I grabbed the last four. MINE! LOL! It is better to HAVE...than to not...great motto I live by.
So...I got a ton of emails asking me about sex and writing. Do you really do research? I do. There was a time I’d blush profusely and never admit it but I’ve been published for three years (this September marks that event). At first when you write erotic romance, you blush a bit. I mean, some people are pretty brazen about confronting you on it. They give you calculating looks wondering...whatever they do. I’ve had some bad responses from a few men - as if I’m some sex-crazy slut and would welcome their graphic and crude comments/come ons. Sorry (not really) to disappoint those types of men but it’s not true. I’ve even had women think along those lines - Gee, she must be some mega slut....to write those books. LOL.
I’ve been with Mr. Laurann for over twenty years and I’ve never cheated on him. I’m totally into monogamy. I don’t flirt online. Yes, I get to look at mostly naked men when I’m hunting for stock photos to use (book trailers or that certain character I use to motivate me to write about) but the husband is okay with that. Looking is fine. Touching is not. LOL! Another good motto to live by. After a while of writing books with graphic sex scenes...you toughen up. I did anyway. I can take those ‘looks’ I get and find it amusing. I still blush sometimes but not nearly as much. I’m more blunt about sex, more comfortable, and generally...I’ll answer about any question. People are curious, so am I, and I’m pretty upfront.
So with that said...yes. I do research. Personal, hands on research with my research partner - otherwise known as Mr. Laurann. He retired from his day job to be at home with me full time so I could write full time. He is my house hunk who wrangles kids, cats, the house, runs errands...and is on hand when I need assistance. (wink) I’ll use examples. Propositioning Mr. Raine has sex toys. We bought and played with them so I could work out some of those sex scenes because I’ll be blunt here. I’ve read sex scenes in books and winced. I mean, really, really winced. It was obvious the author had never tried some of those maneuvers because it was so unsexy...OMG. My thighs clamped together and the pain I imagined if it were a reality...OMG. Yeah. Traumatized! LOL! I’ll even use an example. Big guy...all over. Anal sex. Woman has never tried it and the guy rams into her. First off, NOT sexy. At least not in reality. If that were to happen in real life...she’d scream alright. That blood-curdling, you just hurt me really bad scream of agony, and blood would be involved. (Yeah...I’m sure about that. Let’s um, leave it at that - LOL). I obviously have never had sex with a werewolf, an alien from outer space (okay...so I have dated a few guys who I thought...what planet are YOU from???), and some men act part animal at times so um...yes, I’ll count that. Some imagination is required. I mostly try to take personal experiences and add them into books to make believable sex scenes. Past experiences or current research get taken into account I write.
That being said, research is important. I want readers to find the sex scenes arousing. I write what I find sexy. I would hate to write scenes that make others wince and slam their knees closed. Recently I was writing a scene where the woman was exploring the guy. I went and grabbed Mr. Laurann. LOL. He never minds. He’s really great about that and I feel lucky (he does too) to be with someone who is open to trying stuff. Not everyone has that. I will admit I once dated the biggest prude...ever. We didn’t last long and I couldn’t stay with a guy who lectured me because I wanted a good sex life. I also lived with a guy once and our sex life grew stale. I talked to him about it (did all those helpful hints I’d read about) and he got pretty...defensive. It didn’t matter how nice I was, how much I used flattering words, he was outright hostile. We didn’t last either. It happens to everyone. You’re with someone for a while, you get older, your body changes, and things you used to like...you need more or something different. Great relationships change with the times, you have open talks about what you need/want, and your partner is open to trying new stuff. I’m not talking about swinging or...having affairs. I’m talking about ‘hey, tie me up or let’s buy sex toys’. I think men would be amazed at how receptive we are to sex (being blunt) if they actually make sure we enjoy it as much as they do.
I’m lucky because I found someone I can talk to, be totally honest with about anything, and he’s willing to meet me half way. I joke about kissing some frogs before I met my Prince. I can think up a scene and he’ll help me figure out the best way to write it after we try it - hands on...or other body parts. LOL. On the reading standpoint...books are great because you can hand over your ereader or book marked at a sex scene that flipped your ‘on’ switch and say to your partner...let’s try that! Hopefully, they will go for it. Do a little research of your own. I highly recommend it.
Any questions? LOL. Leave comments if you do.
As for writing...I’m doing lots of that. Shadow has been turned in. It’s featuring Beauty. You met her in Justice’s book - Jessie rescued her. I don’t have a release date because it needs to go through edits and line edits...and it will be a bit before I have a date. I am hoping it will get released by the end of this year. I’ll post when I do. I’m writing more Cyborgs, Raines, Mating Heat, Zorn, and tons of New Species. I think pretty much...if you have a favorite character from a series...it’s on my list.
Thank you sooooo much for all the great comments/emails/FB posts...ect about Obsidian. I took his book in a new direction. I knew it might upset some readers (I am sorry for that) but series tend to get stale. We all need to shake it up a bit sometimes and I did (not sorry for that). You'll see them in future books to know how they are doing and if Allie gets her job back at Homeland. (you know she will...LOL...no use in my even denying it)
Next month I’ll be in Ohio at Romanticon! Mr. Laurann and I are going. I’m bringing tons of promo items with me and there will be a book signing - free to the public - on Sunday. I hope to see you there.